Re: Modulus and Remainder operations (Was Re: Help with a bit of C code)

[dweller@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (David Weller)]

In article <hbakerCxo659.H6w@netcom.com>,
Henry G. Baker <hbaker@netcom.com> wrote:
>
>I agree that it is a step forward, in much the same vein that a square
>wheel is an improvement on a triangular one.  Still makes for one heck
>of a bumpy ride, though.  :-)
>

Sir, I respectfully disagree.  In my seminal work, "Kittens: Cats of
the Future?", I mathematically prove the converse of your statement,
that Triangular wheels are an improvement over square ones.  I won't
go into all the mathematical mumbo-jumbo, but the central theme,
stressed repeatedly in the paper, focuses on the "Bump Factor".
While this formula still requires more study (a topic of my doctoral
research at Slimy Stone on the Green River University of Improbable
Studies, Hatfordhanoverschestershire, West Sufferfolk, England), let
me present a rough sketch:

	+---+					/\
	|   |				       /  \
	+---+ Square = 4 sides                /____\ Triangle = 3 sides

Let us take into consideration the consumer-oriented view, that each
individual bump contributes to the overall discomfort, we will use
the variable Bd (Bumpiness discomfort).  When we permit squares and
triangles of equal sides (s), we find that the mathematical derivations
(see seminal work mentioned above) simplifies to: Bd = n * s.

Thus, one can see that, for a square wheel, Bd(square)= 4s.  While
for a triangular wheel, Bd(triangle)= 3s.  Thus, triangular wheels
are less bumpy than square wheels.

My research is now extending this theory to two-sided and one-sided
wheels.  While the one-sided wheels are somewhat problematic, given
the physical challenge of milling a wheel that is a point, the
two-sided wheel variation is progressing nicely.  At this point, the
current limitation we seem to have is getting the vehicle to propel
itself properly.  However, we're currently modifying a Yugo to hold a
'78 Trans-Am 6.6 Litre engine.  My engineering assistant assures me
this will work spectacularly.

I will publish a report next year, "Puppies: Dogs of the Future?"
which will bring to completion this theory.  I look forward to a
well-received publication, and invite you to be a distinguished
reviewer.

I apologize for moving off-topic, but such blasphemous statements
simply cannot go unanswered.


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