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* Thought I'd throw this in ;-) for the sake of conversation.
@ 2004-09-24  1:12 stephane richard
  2004-09-24  9:56 ` Björn Persson
  0 siblings, 1 reply; 11+ messages in thread
From: stephane richard @ 2004-09-24  1:12 UTC (permalink / raw)


If you take time to read all this (including the Ada version) there's some 
basis of truth to this.
a.. Ada: After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently 
load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. This 
goes in a rendez-vous task until the ambulance gets here along with proper 
bullet infury materials and the hospital already knows you're on your way 
there.
a.. C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
a.. C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot 
them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible 
since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at 
others and saying, "That's me, over there."
a.. FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out 
of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of 
bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.
a.. Modula-2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in 
this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
a.. COBOL: Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place 
ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to 
HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
a.. LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which 
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot 
yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself 
in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the 
appendage which holds ....
a.. BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, 
continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
a.. FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.
a.. APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how 
to do it in fewer characters.
a.. Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
a.. SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail, 
shoot yourself in the right foot.
a.. Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot. (Winner 
of the Jason E. Bean Memorial "Pee Yourself Laughing" Award)
a.. HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of the gun into foot left of leg of you. 
Answer the result.
a.. Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the 
trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of 
the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
a.. Unix:
      % ls foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
      % rm *.o  rm:.o: No such file or directory
      % ls
      %
a.. Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can 
too.
a.. Revelation: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as 
you figure out what all these bullets are for.
a.. Visual Basic: You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much 
fun doing it that you won't care.
a.. Prolog: You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The 
program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to 
explain.
a.. 370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document 
explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes 
back deep-fried.
a.. Assembly: You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you 
must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.
a.. Perl: You hack your leg off with your trusty Swiss Army chainsaw.
a.. PVM: You send the gun a message to shoot you in the foot. Two hours 
later, the gun goes off, missing you entirely and injuring a bystander.
a.. Tcl/Tk: You tickle the bottom of your feet, but it doesn't seem to do 
anything.





^ permalink raw reply	[flat|nested] 11+ messages in thread

end of thread, other threads:[~2004-09-27 13:25 UTC | newest]

Thread overview: 11+ messages (download: mbox.gz / follow: Atom feed)
-- links below jump to the message on this page --
2004-09-24  1:12 Thought I'd throw this in ;-) for the sake of conversation stephane richard
2004-09-24  9:56 ` Björn Persson
2004-09-24 11:54   ` Nick Roberts
2004-09-24 13:35     ` Chris Humphries
2004-09-24 19:52       ` Nick Roberts
2004-09-27 13:25         ` Chris Humphries
2004-09-25  5:26       ` Wes Groleau
2004-09-24 13:55     ` Jean-Pierre Rosen
2004-09-24 17:36     ` Benjamin Ketcham
2004-09-24 20:17     ` Frank J. Lhota
2004-09-25  0:35       ` Brian May

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